I'd like to say that it was purely a financial decision. That I only returned to work because it would have been financially impossible for us to live on one income. But truthfully, we could have managed. Money would have been really tight, but it wouldn't have been impossible.
I'd also like to say that it has been unbearable. That I have to pry my desperately clasped hands from my children as I drop them off at daycare each morning, and that I cry quietly to myself as I drive to the office each day. But I don't. On some days it is tough to say goodbye, but they love their daycare, and they know I'll come back and squeeze them with all that mama love that they've missed all day.
Yes there are days when I wonder if I've made the right decision.
Yes I miss my children every moment that we're apart. But my career is part of who I am, and working (outside of the home) is something I have to do. Not just for the money, but for me.
I have a theory (and a big emphasis on "theory" here) - that many women who were raised by stay at home moms, choose to do the same when they become mothers. The same seems to apply to women who were raised by career moms - they seem to grow to become career moms themselves.
It's a crazy busy life being a career mommy of two. It's a crazy busy life being a stay at home mommy too! In Canada, we're lucky enough to enjoy a full year of maternity leave, so I've experienced both sides, and I can truly say that they are both equally as challenging.
When it comes down to the decision to return to the office, or to stay at home full time, it's purely a personal decision, and for me, a career mommy was the right fit for me.
How about you? How did you make the decision? Did you follow in your mother's footsteps?
I don't fit with your theory. My Mom was a stay-at-home Mom. I am a working Mom, albeit part-time but still as a teacher and a profession I love.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the choice to go back to work. I need my career. It helps me to be a better person and Mommy. Like you said, it's a personal choice. We have to do what's right for our own families.
I'm totally envious of your position - I'd love to have more of a balance like you do, part time sounds so perfect!
DeleteMy Mom stayed at home with us. I work part time. First of all, financially I wouldn't be able to stay home full time. The truth is I wouldn't want to stay home full time if I could. I know this because I am home full time with my kids all summer (no daycare) and by August I am begging to go back to work. I also love my job and can't imagine not teaching.
ReplyDeleteI'm envious of you and Bruna and your balanced work/life schedules. Part-time sounds dreamy!
DeleteI went back to work after my first 2, but after baby 3, I couldn't think about anything but him, and it affected my performance and I got fired. It was the best thing ever for me, and I love being home with the kids (they're now 4, 3,and 15 months). When I was a kid, my mom stayed home for a few years after my sister was born, but for most of the time, she worked as 3rd and 4th grade teacher. My dad taught high school, so had them both home every summer. It was great. However, I'm so much more fulfilled staying home with the kids, but they're young, so who knows what will happen once they're all in school.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, I have days where I am SO thrilled to be a stay at home mom...but I also have days I miss being somewhere outside of the home that required an entirely different skill set of mine. Stay at home or work outside the home...I think we all have our love/hate moments with our choices!
ReplyDeleteno i dont fit the theory...mu mum worked...i intended too buthated it...perhaps it has something to do with my eldest daughter being disabled and i felt too protective...haha thinking about it my life is soooooo extreme i dont fit anyones theory!!!
ReplyDeletelovely to find you via mama kats and now following...i am number 10. janexxxxx
It's such a "full" decision. isn't it? I think that you're right though- both are hard and both are rewarding!
ReplyDeleteMy mom did both, stayed at home, then worked...and so did I. Interesting theory, might be a nice survey to do! I agree that the decision is purely a personal one, and some people are just not designed or inclined to stay at home with children. I can say I enjoyed both, but I enjoyed the years at home with the children a little bit more, I think. Of course, after they became teenagers, all bets were off! See what you have to look forward to? Loved your post today!
ReplyDeleteI'm a SAHM and not by choice. We also looked at the finacial aspect of my working and quickly realized that full-time childcare for three would break us. So I stayed home to care for our children. (At that time I made less money than my husband.) I have since started my own business and now work when I want to but first and foremost I'm a SAHM.
ReplyDeleteMy mother stayed home until I was in school, and then she went back to school to finish her bachelors and get her masters degree. There was never any question for me--I knew I was going to be a SAHM. However, once my kids are in school, I am hoping to get my Masters and then forge my own career (no more corporate world for me!)
ReplyDeleteyeah i followed in my mom's foot steps and work away from home... but i do it out of necessity whereas she did it cuz she was sick of us. :) it took me a year to be OK with being a mom who works out of the home... but Lovie adores her school and her classmates and has learned SO much that i'm actually grateful, currently, that working out of the home was a necessity for me.
ReplyDeleteWorking provides a needed time of adult social interaction and sense of accomplishment which can be a good thing. There are benefits to both sides.
ReplyDeleteBlowing your theory! My Mom is a hardcore career Mom, even going so far as to telling my Father before I was born that she never would have chosen to become a Mother and I stay at home. At first that was by choice, now it's more economy than anything else.
ReplyDeleteIf we were in the States I would be back at work now. At first I loved being a SAHM, but now I think that we could all use me going to work outside of the home. It isn't an option at the moment, though, so SAHM it is!
ReplyDeleteThank you! You described the decision perfectly. Down the road, I might try a combo approach, though. We are so lucky to live in a world where this is one of the choices we have!
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