Bits of BOO

Let me start this post with a bit of advice: Sometimes complimenting someone on their Halloween costume is like congratulating a woman on her pregnancy - be 100% sure you're right before you do it. I didn't make this mistake myself today, but let's just say I came very close.

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We've done it - we've survived another Halloween! I'm not going to say it went off without a hitch, and I'm certainly not going to go into detail about rushing through the morning, wrestling my little monkeys into their costumes, calming tears, wiping noses and breaking up sibling battles while sweating my way through a strenuous morning routine.

I'm not going to waste your time with stories about our late-night pumpkin carving session - which ended with my husband using a power drill to finish the job so we could go to bed by midnight. I'm also not going to get into detail about my 4-year-old wiping out on the driveway of house #2 while trick-or-treating, or how she begged to go home after a solid 10-minute cry fest while a slew of neighbourhood friends looked at me with pity in their eyes. 

Instead, I'm going to focus on the positive, and make my Halloween post about the little things that make all the costume prepping, pumpkin carving, and candy buying worthwhile. I present to you (in true Monday Listicles style - cause you know I love me some lists).

10 Pictures of my Halloween:

Hope everyone had a SPOOK-tacular Halloween!

London Bridge Is What?

Linking up for another round of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshops. This week's prompt of choice: Something that scared the Hell out of you when you were a child.

I can still hear the song ringing in my ears when I drive over a bridge. I hear it in that high pitched little girl's voice that you hear in horror movies, singing softly in the background just before the thriller climaxes with a heart-stopping scare.

"London Bridge is falling down...falling down...falling down..."

When I was a kid, I took things literally (much like my four year old does today). So when I learned the lyrics to the world-reknowned nursery rhyme, I wasn't cheerfully singing along, I was listening in terror. Why was the bridge falling down? Were there people and cars on it? Did they survive?

Thinking my fear of the song was adorably amusing, my parents used to sing it to me while driving over our local bridge. I would cover my eyes, shrink in my seat, and beg them to get me off the bridge - to not let it fall. I don't think they realized that I was actually terrified, that I truly believed the bridge would fall.

I've discovered (through reliable research methods - aka Google) that noone seems to know what the true meaning is behind the song. There's the viking attack theory, the child sacrifice theory (something about burrying children in the foundations of the bridge - say what.), and the age and damage theory. None of these make me feel any better - I think I've just revived my fear of bridges..

Who is this "fair lady" they speak of? Was there only one lady on the bridge? And why don't they have anything else to say about her? The line seems totally irrelevant. Maybe the speaker is telling a fair lady that the bridge is falling?

"London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady"

I don't know about 1951 (yes, that's when it originates), but today, if a fricken bridge was falling down, I certainly wouldn't sing about in a cheerful catchy tune. My rendition would go something more like this:

"OH MY GOD THE F@&#ING BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"

I'd like to send a special thanks to Fergie (yes, the one from The Black Eyed Peas) for producing one of her world famous top 10 hits - "London Bridge". Like we needed another version of the terrifying song to get stuck in our heads and to keep me up at night.

Artsy Fartsy (Wordless Wednesday)

Confession: Since discovering certain photo editing websites, I've become obsessed with applying artistic effects, collage frames, touch-ups and process techniques to my photos to give them that extra pop. Why not waste even more time making your weekend pics look like watercolor masterpieces? Time suck? Maybe. Super fricken cool? Definitely.

Want to know how it was done? Here's the quick and dirty:

STEP 1: Upload your photo(s) to Picnik.com - it's free, and they have some collage options to allow you to display several photos in one image (great for posting pics on Blogger which I find to be a nightmare when uploading them individually). You can apply some pretty cool effects from here, or what I like to do is save the collage and edit it on another site.

STEP 2: Upload your photo collage to BeFunky.com (thanks to @NorthWestMommy for suggesting this one) - also free, and they have a much wider selection of artsy effects and edits to choose from.

STEP 3: Save and share!

Bee, Interrupted

I pull the covers up to my chin and roll on to my side. I peak one eye open and glance at the alarm clock. 8am, yesss. I sigh a breath of satisfaction and roll back on to my other side. I've slept in for the first time in years. My eyes flutter closed and my dream starts up where it left off. Suddenly, startlingly, I hear these words in a high pitched voice ringing in my ears like a fire alarm - "Mommy, poo poo. Poo poo mommy. MOM-MY." My eyes flash open and there he is, my toddler, with one hand down the back of his pants, the other hand poised for a quick and painful nostril stab.

I turn the bathtub nob on so that it is 95% hot water, and dip my finger into the stream to test the temperature. Almost unbearably hot, just how I like it. I turn on the shower, and tiptoe into the steaming stream. I tilt my head back and the warmth consumes me. I hum to myself while I swish shampoo through my hair. My eyes slowly close as I tip my head back for a rinse. Suddenly I am startled by the SWOOSH of the shower curtain. "MOMMY, Gavin hit me." says my 4 year old daughter. "Ok sweetheart, I'll be out in a minute, please close the door behind you." I rush to rinse the soap off my body when I hear a shrill scream. "MOMMMYYY". I hop out of the shower, wrap a towel around my chest and rush my dripping body to the scene. Did I rinse the conditioner out of my hair?

I rush into the house and throw off my heels. Running up the stairs, I hear screams of joy, and I'm greeted with a million hugs and kisses. I spend a few minutes taking it in, smothering my children with enough kisses to make up for the ones they've missed that day. Satisfied, they scramble back to their game. I turn on the stove, take out the ingredients, and begin to make dinner. I cut, I stir, I taste, all the while lost in my thoughts. I hear the children laughing and playing with their daddy in the living room. I suddenly feel lonely, wanting to join in on the fun. "Who wants to help mommy make dinner?" I half-sing overenthusuastically. Suddenly, I want nothing more than to be interrupted.

Gone are the days of uninterupted bliss - of long and quiet showers and late mornings in bed. As parents, we no longer have the luxury of self-consuming downtime. Parenting is a 24-hour job - full of interruptions. It's busy, it's exhausting, and I wouldn't trade those interruptions for anything. Cause at the end of the day, when you see their cute little faces begging for your attention, how can you resist?

The Story Behind The Picture

I remember the day so clearly. I was a new mommy basking in the warm sun in my backyard with my 4-month-old baby girl. We were lying together on a blanket, and I snapped photo after photo of her latest milestone - holding her head up while lying on her tummy. I mimicked her position, propped myself on the ground in front of her cherubic little face, and snapped this beauty of a shot.

As I snapped this photo I glanced over at the grass beside me. Looking at it from this perspective made the grass seem so clear, each blade stood out prominently, bright like the peel of a ripe lime. I placed my cheek on the cool grass and looked at my little girl, only half of my face peeking out over the green surface. She let out a little giggle. "I wonder what a picture would look like from her perspective?" I thought to myself. I turned the camera on myself, and this is what I got:

When I made the decision to start a blog, I came up with the title Bits of Bee because I thought each post could show only bits and pieces of who I am. The more you read, the more you learn about the Bee that is me!

Wanna know what the rest of me looks like? Check out my newly added About Bee page!

 

Kinder-pardon?

Tonight I was given a sneak peek at the monumental milestone that lies ahead. The one that has been consuming my mind, keeping me up at night, making me hug my daughter a little longer, and kiss her a little more frequently. Tonight I went to my district's kindergarten information session.

I wasn't sure what to expect, and part of me expected to be one of a dozen parents attending the event. As I drove towards the school district office, I noticed a distant trail of headlights behind me, cars coming from every direction, traffic aides directing us to park amongst a nearby soccer field. Mini vans and SUVs and station wagons spewed out rushing parents, notebooks and pens in hand, frantically moving in herds towards the building doors. I had decided to attend the session alone, and felt lost among the sea of eager parents.

As I walked into the overcrowded gymnasium, I was immediately overwhelmed by a sea of what seemed liked a million confused faces. The outer areas of the gym were lined with information booths littered with colourful crafts, and signs written in giant kindergarten teacher print. I moved through the crowd like I had somewhere important to be, and found a seat by what looked like a cool group of mommies.

The Superintendent of our school district welcomed us to the session, and ended his intro with "we look forward to working with you over the next 13 years". I gasped. 13 years. Am I ready for a committed relationship like this? One that will greatly influence the person that my child will grow to be?

The speaker dove into explanations on the various programs we have to choose from - French Immersion, International Baccalaureate Programs - I thought my daughter was going to Kindergarten? Isn't that like, colouring and recess and snack times? He spoke about school choices, catchment areas, priority lists and learning techniques. He spoke of the importance of learning to pay attention and remembering things for a reason - basic skills that will contribute to the development of our children for years to come.

It was informative, and I'm glad that I attended, but seeing the images of the children on the projector screen, hearing the stories of a typical day in Kindergarten, and imagining my little baby girl walking towards an Elementary School door with an oversized backpack and a lunch bag in hand - I have to admit brought tears to my eyes. My baby's growing up, and I don't have a choice but to help her through the stages, to hope  that I've made the right choices and taught her the right skills to move on to her next stage in life.

This is just the beginning, and I'm already freaking out.

I Indulge. No Regrets.

This week's Monday Listicles list topic is "guilty pleasures". I've made my list, I've checked it twice, and if your list matches mine, I think we should become virtual BFFs.

Latte. Baileys. Delicious.

How can I resist this tasty beverage? Look at it and try not to crave one. So what if I have one almost every night (and maybe even one each morning on the weekends). I'm a busy career mommy, so I deserve a little bit of bliss after a busy day. Right? 

Shoes. Lots and lots of shoes. Boots, heels, wedges, sandals, I love them all. Sure I have enough to last a life time, but I always "need" more. These sandals are actually pretty cute, I wonder how much they are?




Poutine makes me proud to be a Canadian. Fries, cheese curds and gravy. How can they say it's unhealthy? It has cheese (dairy), potatoes (veggies), and meat broth (iron, protein).

TV completes me. I confess, although I'm a crazy busy career mommy of two, I somehow manage to find the time to watch my shows. I credit my PVR for keeping me up to speed, and my late late bedtimes for making it possible to watch them fairly close to air dates. Reality TV is my biggest vice on the tube. I can't stop watching it.

I'm a chick who likes an ice cold beer. There, I said it. On hot sunny days when I'm hovering over a sizzling bbq, I enjoy an icy wobbly pop. So what? That doesn't make me any less of a lady. I still love shoes.

Good old celebrity gossip. You know you love it, you know you can't get enough of it, yet for some reason, you won't admit it to anyone. I'm not ashamed. I know they're just normal people like us who are trying to make a living. Except, they have gazillions of dollars, they have 99 problems (and a b*tch ain't one), and at the end of the day, they make me feel better about my low-profile life.

FUggs. Not only do I wear these, I wear the cheapo fake ones. They may be fugly, but they're damn comfortable, and for a woman who spends her work week in heels, they're a gift from heaven. I don't however wear them with daisy dukes or mini dresses. I wear them with tight ankle joggers cause I'm classy like that.



BOEUF, so good I have to say it in French. This right here is the love of my life. Delicious, succulent, medium rare beef tenderloin. Slather some bernaise sauce on that baby and I'm golden. This is why I love to drink a cold beer over the barbie, this is why I could never be a vegetarian, and this is why I consider my love for meat one of my hobbies.

I don't like to admit this one, but I love teen dramas *cough* Gossip Girl *cough*. I know I'm almost twice the age of the characters on the show, I've never even been to New York or Orange County, and I'm pretty sure that if I were ever to meet someone like the people on these shows, I'd have to drop-kick them for their snooty attitudes, yet I can't seem to get enough.

Mad for social media. Twitter. Facebook. Blogger. LinkedIn. Klout. StumpleUpon. It's embarrassing, yet I can't seem to slow it down. If you're reading this list, then you can't judge me.

And that's my list! Looking forward to reading others, and if you're not linking up, then tell me, what's your biggest guilty pleasure?

Patchy Patch

The weather was ideal for a trip to the pumpkin patch today, so we bundled up the kidlets and off we went! After a 45-minute drive out of the city, we arrived, ready for an afternoon of adventure.

We strolled into the patch hand-in-hand and began rushing from one attraction to another, enjoying one while eager to move on to the next.

They had a handmade play area with wooden tractors and animals and activities designed to teach children about farm life. Then off to the petting area where we observed donkeys, bunnies, goats and chickens. A quick hay ride gave us a tour of the property, and then a stop at the barn for hot dogs and hot chocolates. A stroll through the corn maze, the teepee tents, and then through the pumpkin family village.



We ended the day with a wheelbarrow and the selection of 12 (yes, a dozen) pumpkins to bring home. A fabulous way to celebrate Fall and some much-needed family time.

WTF Is A Wiggle?

Kids shows are a complete mystery to me. Talking animals, adventures that lead to some epic moral lesson, silly songs and dreadful costumes.

Take this dude for example:

Dude from Yo Gabba Gabba

What is he supposed to be? A clown? And why the boom box? Is this show supposed to take place in the 1970s? I have to admit, he kind of looks like I did when I tried to rock the Halle Berry short-do. But that's a different story.

I'm also not impressed with their "celebrity guests" - who do they think they are, Sesame Street? I don't know about anyone else, but my kids haven't seen Lord of the Rings, so having an ex-hobbit on the show does nothing for them (or me).

Elijah Wood hits rock bottom

And where have I seen these guys before? 4 dudes prancing around in rainbow-coloured shirts, singing cheesy tunes with simple rhymes..

Dudes from The Wiggles

Oh yes, I remember now, in 1966 when they were called The Monkees.

I sit and watch my children in awe as they bounce, shake, dance, and talk to these strange men on the TV. They LOVE them, they swoon and prance and do as they say.

I wonder to myself if these men have families. If they head over to a pub for a cold beer after a long day of "hot potato" songs and "Where's Jeff?" montages. What do they wear on their days off? And do their friends embrace their career choices or make fun of what they've chosen to do for work?

I don't discriminate, I'm equally as curious (and semi-terrified) of characters like her:

I know she's a clown, but how old is she, 17 or 45? I can't tell, and for some reason that bothers me. She talks to a doll whose mouth doesn't even move, and hangs out on a giant (and very sloppy) couch. All day. 

The one thing that all of these characters have in common, is that they keep my children entertained when I need a mommy moment. They get my kids on their feet, and they encourage them to "Shake their sillies out", which for a career mommy like myself, is a blessing in disguise.

Let It Rain (Wordless Wednesday)

It rains a lot in Vancouver. So often that I sometimes wonder if I'll ever see the sun again. We try to be creative when reporting our weather – “cloudy with showers”, “light rain”, “isolated showers”, “scattered showers”, “heavy rainfall” – think I’m joking? Check out The Weather Network’s forecast for this week.

 

 

As a Vancouverite (born and raised), I’ve become too proud to use an umbrella. “Umbrellas are for wimps” I’ve said. I refuse to let it bother me, even if I end up walking around looking like a drowned rat, with mascara running down my face and water splotches on my shirt.

So on Thanksgiving Monday, when I woke up to a torrential downpour, I resisted the urge to spend the entire day in my pyjamas, and instead suited the kids up in their muddy buddies and rainboots, and we headed to our river.

Steps from our front door, adventures awaited. We threw rocks, we splashed in river puddles, and we watched sticks and leaves float along the rushing river. We spotted wild animals and enjoyed the day. Rain and all.

How I Came To Bee

When I first saw the topic for this week's Moday Listicles, I was going to opt out. It gave me flashbacks of my childhood which was laden with projects surrounding the theme of "family trees". Teachers prompted us to explore our lineages - to draw trees with photos and dotted lines connecting our family members, showing how we were made, where we came from, and sometimes even showing who we ressembled. It was all about biological ties - something I didn't share with my family.

I love a challenge, so instead of making up excuses for why I can't participate in this project, I'm going to embrace it. I'm going to face my childhood insecurities and write a list about my own unique family history, how it has evolved and influenced the person that I am today. So here here it is, my list of 10 things "family tree".

1) It all started with a boy and a girl. They were in love, and they made a baby. They were young, they were financially unstable, and they wanted more for their baby, so they made the difficult decision to give her up for adoption.

2) A woman with a passion for children made the decision to help a family in need. Fate brought her a little girl who needed love, and the woman and the little girl were bonded for life. The woman signed some papers and officially became the little girl's mother.

3) The woman was temporarily married to a man. Their love ended and he soon married another woman who had a child of her own. Together they had another child and began their own family. The little girl lost touch with that man, and he was never to be heard from again.

4) The woman and the little girl spent a few years living happily on their own, until several years later, when the woman met a loving man who had 2 children of his own. They fell in love, married, and when the little girl was 21, he legally became her father.

5) At the age of 29, the girl met a boy who loved her unconditionally. They dated for many years, and eventually became husband and wife.

6) The girl and her husband longed for a child of their own, so they made a beautiful baby girl. She was their pride and joy. She was the girl's first biologically-tied family member, and the love that she felt for her baby confirmed her desire to have another child.

7) The girl and her husband made another baby - this time a beautiful baby boy. They felt like their family was finally complete, and the family of four lived happily ever after.

8) One day, the girl checked her email, and to her surprise, she had a note from a stranger who identified himself as her biological father. They emailed each other every day, until one day they met in person.

9) The girl and her biological father shared a few visits, exchanged several emails, and developed a special and everlasting friendship. The biological father had two boys, half brothers to the girl who once had no biological ties. She hopes to one day meet them, and the rest of her extended biological family.

10) The girl now has an adopted family who loves her, who made her who she is and who will remain her constant for the rest of her life. She has her own family of four, that she has created with her loving husband. She has an extended family of friends who have loved and supported her through her journey, and she now has a biological father with whom she has reconnected. He knows her past, her biological lineage, and is the one who brought her into this world.

The girl now has a solid foundation, with many fruitful branches, limbs and leaves - all of which have contributed to the beautiful tree that she has become today.

Bit of a Big Head

I have to admit, since having had my second child, my head has gotten bigger. Not literally of course, but more in the way that your head might inflate after proving yourself right in an argument, or in the way that you might feel when you have accomplished something big that leaves others feeling green with envy. This kind of underlying "I'm the bomb and I know it" kind of feeling.

After having had my first child, I felt a little bit self conscious. I felt humbled by the reality of motherhood, I realized that I didn’t know as much as I thought I had known about parenting. When out in public with my baby, I felt awkward, like a fawn trying out new legs for the first time. Wobbly, hesitant, naïve. It took some time to figure it out, to feel confident in my role, and to feel confident about telling others that I had recently taken on the new title as ‘mom’.

When making the decision to have another child, I have to admit that I was a little terrified. I was just starting to figure things out with the first one, so the thought of having to start again from the beginning seemed like a daunting task. Could I handle the sleepless nights again? How would I feel in the shoes of the women I had seen with a child on each hand?

Now that I have two kids (on my good days) I feel like I want to shout it from the rooftops! “Oh yes, I also have kids, two in fact” I want to say when I overhear strangers talking about their families.  When I see a pregnant woman or a new mom, I desperately want to help them, to give them any advice I can think of, to share my stories and to hear about how they are feeling. I want to hug them and tell them that it only gets better, that the tough times will be so worth it as their children grow older.

When I pass other mothers on the street, I'm tempted to offer a “wassup” head nod, like we’re united through some sort of secret society. There should be a secret hand shake. I feel as though I have an instant bond with anyone I meet who has kids, like we can dive right into personal conversations about milestones, challenges, poop stories, embarrassing moments, and not feel uncomfortable about sharing endless stories about our the cute things our kids say or do.

I sound like I have a big head, but I think I'm really just a proud, confident mother of two who has finally gotten her head in the right place.

Go Fly A Kite (Wordless Wednesday)

Usually when I tell someone to "go fly a kite", I mean it to imply that they are annoying me, that I want them to go away. But on a dreary Sunday afternoon, after having watched Mary Poppins with my little princess, we decided to bundle up and head to the beach.

We wanted to "go fly a kite" - literally.

And we did just that.

A Four To Be Reckoned With

I was so fortunate to have been chosen by Stasha @NorthWestMommy to pick this week's Monday Listicles topic - and I've been waiting all week long to finally post my list! The topic I chose: Ten Things Quotable.

I've thought about this all week, desperate to come up with a really creative, unique post. I was going to do a list of "you know you're a mom when you say...", or "ten song lyrics I've had wrong", but coming up with a full list of ten was next to impossible. I've been posting quotes by my little Sassy McSasserson on Facebook (and later Twitter) since she was two, and my friends have always told me that I could write a book with the things that come out of her mouth. Now that she's 4, she's definitely a four to be reckoned with. So tonight, my list is going to be about my quotable kid.

1) "Can I please have some scotch mommy?"
    Me: "Why?"
    "So we can play hop scotch silly!"
    (almost 3 years old)

2) "Can we please go to the park mommy?...Annnd I don't mean Park Royal."
    (almost 3 years old - note: Park Royal is a mall near our house)

3) "Mommy, if Gavin is your son, then he is my sunshine."
    (3 years old, falling in love with her little brother)

4) "I'm going to call Gavin GIRL-vin from now on cause he cries so much."
    (3 years old, realizing that babies cry. Alot.)

5) "Gramma, you would be able to finish your lunch a lot faster if you didn't talk so much."
   (3 years old, it was really hard not to laugh at this one)

6) "Aww man, you shoulda choosed a different baby mama."
   (3.5 years old, when Gavin spilled a glass of milk)

7) "Mommy, my eyes aren't watery because I have a cold, they're watery because I had a really big poo at daycare today."
   (3.5 years old, said at the dinner table when we had guests over)

8) Nana: "What size are your shoes Emma?"
   "The same size as my feet, obviously!"
   (almost 4 years old)

9) Me: "Now do you understand what you did wrong Emma?"
   "Ya, I shoulda said Gavin did it."
   (almost 4 years old)

10) "Technically I DON'T have to eat all of my dinner before I can clear the table."
   (4 years old, and sassier than ever!)

And that's my list! I can't wait to see what everyone else comes up with!

Is it wrong that I wish she had her middle finger up in this pic?

Two Close For Comfort

My boy is just over 19 months - or as I like to say - too close to two. As he approaches this toddler milestone, I have been very wary of the challenges this stage represents. I've been there before - the sporadic temper tantrums, the sudden nocturnal tendencies, and the wild look in the eyes (like a beast ready to attack its fragile prey). I know what I'm in for, and it's giving me nightmares.

Some might say that I'm being superstitious, that "age ain't nothin' but a number". But I know the signs, and the craziness has already reared its ugly head. My boy hasn't slept in over a month. At all. I put him down at 8pm or so (with difficulty might I add - I bath him, I rock him, I read a book, I lay him down, I sing, I rub his back, I leave, I let him cry it out, I come back, I leave, yada yada). He sleeps for 2-3 hours, during which time I convince myself that it has worked, that the curse has been broken.

Then, with no warning, he blows. Blood curdling screams burst through his tiny lips, and it doesn't stop until I return to his room. I've tried to let him cry it out, crossed my fingers that if I waited long enough, it would slow down, or even stop. But I've waited for as long as two straight hours, and he doesn't falter. When I give in and return to his cave, he stops immediately, giggles and grins and murmurs "mama" (like he is boasting that he has won the battle). If I stay, he stares and plays and chatters. If I leave, he blows. He's only two and he owns me.

I know this is only the beginning, and I dread the rest of the challenges to come. My little beast is clever, stubborn, and relentless. Qualities that might someday attribute to his success. I have a long year ahead of me, and it's keeping me up at night.

Now I know why they make them so adorable. So that our impatience, frustration, and sleeplessness melts away upon the sight of their sweet little faces.